So .... we get an apology

Last night the elder an email aplogising although he is only admiting to receiving one email.  I am the better person and will let it go.  We have our belongings back and that is whay matters.  There had been one book outstanding but the church member who had it returned the book this evening.  She stayed for a chat and made the most of hugging our friends youngest son as we have him over.  It was just pleasant to talk to a church member without being attacked!

Why do I bother .....

Today has been an all time low for me and I wonder why I bother standing my ground on being honest about my life.  Sometimes I think it is much easier for me to stay quiet and let others continue to think the worst of me.

Late this afternoon belongings of ours were returned to us by the elder of a church we used to go to.  He went on the attack that I should have emailed him or made phone calls to ask for these items instead of going through their affiliation.  I stood my ground and said we had several times yet he had the cheek to deny this even though I know I can prove emails have been sent.  I bit on my tongue when he told me not to contact the affiliation again. 

I wasn't surprised by his attitude though because I have had to stand my ground on accusations of lying.  He is an idiot because I can prove I haven;t but it still infuriated me.  I have spent most of my life being accused of saying and doing things I haven't done and know I shouldn't care because I know the truth.  What's dragging me down is depression again so I haven't got the will to fight at the moment.

Rick was furious when I woke him up so he rang the affiliation to put a compalint in.  I'm expecting a backlash from that now.  It's that bad the elder is trying to find out what church we are going to but our friends are refusing to tell him.  The fear is he will do his best to black list us from any church we go to which is completely wrong.  The affiliation agrees that he is behaving badly and all because we didn't tell him about an incident which he translated to a lie.  We didn't tell him about the incident simply because it's none of his business.

We are glad we have nothing to do with that church as we were fed up of the elders trying to convert all the members into 'mini mes'.  They saw the pair of us as a threat as we are both very assured in our faiths and they knew they couldn't break us then brain wash us.  They even tried to convince us that any form of illness including mental health is a curse.  I found that extremely offensive particularly as we have close family members who have died from illnesses such as cancer and asthma.     

It's got to the point that we want legal advice on how to stop the elder doing what he is doing.  It is so sad that a Christian church is trying to cause hatred towards us.

Not feeling so good.....

The past couple of weeks have been tough.  Depression has been a struggle again and I am in constant pain with my ankle.  Having physio for it has just made the pain worse so I am now at the point that I need to see my doctor about it.  My back pain has come back with a vengeance as well. 

One year on

It's the first anniversary of my Mum dying.  Last night was tougher than today which surprised me.  Maybe having friends sons over the night helped to be a distraction today.  They are staying over again tonight as their mother is ill

I still have mixed emotions as I loved my mother but it is still painful her involvement in my son's adoption.  I will never be able to understand how a mother can be so cruel as to one of her grandchildren being adopted.  Mum instilled into my sister and I how important family is and that we should be there for each other.  I still can't understand why she rejected her only grandson twice.  The first time because she didn't want the 'shame' of her daughter being a single mother, the second time post reunion.  She could never understand why he wanted to know me whereas I could never understand why my mum couldn't accept him.

I will never have the answers of my questions so I cope the best I can.  This afternoon I rang my Dad and I'm glad I did.  He sounded quite cheerful and we talked about the family.  It's almost as if my Dad has found a new lease in life,